Never again!!

Reading Time: 3 minutes

If there is one thing that fantasy sports players have… its memories like elephants, if a player does something to upset them it’s very hard to just forgive and forget… they are generally banished for all time. Most of us have our own never again stories, I’ll get a couple of mine out here;

It was early in the season a few years back, my old mate the left footed winger Stewart Downing was in a rich vein of form for Middlesbrough. He had a fairly tame fixture coming up at Riverside stadium so I thought I’d captain him. My mate The Plagiarist couldn’t believe his luck!! He had never rated Downing and thought I was an idiot. Early on he gets taken down in the box and steps up for the penalty… what a captain choice I thought… Inspired!! He puts it into Row Z….. Half an hour later he gets a chance for redemption, OK Stu, bring it home for your coach… next one is even worse!! Into the car park! Are you f’ing kidding me?? My great captain choice delivered MINUS figures. Plagiarist couldn’t text me quick enough… Nuff said. When he was purchased by Liverpool for 20 odd million I thought it may have been a re-birth of sorts…. Better side, serving balls up on a platter for the kop to suck into the goals… So I started with him. He hit the post twice in the first game…. Then gradually got worse and worse… zero goals zero assists for the year for memory… Now safely on the NEVER again list. My team is named Upsons and Downings for a reason.. a constant reminder of the Downing’s of FPL.

A few years ago during a particularly frosty winter there were games postponed all over the place. During the catch up fixtures Fulham had a really tasty double of Hull and Derby at home. I had Schwarzer keeper and had doubled up on Fulham defenders… I even went on to captain the keeper. The plagiarist called me on it and said he would never under any circumstance captain a keeper… Again calling me an idiot. Fulham let in a goal in the first fixture but the easier of the two was on the Monday, I still had a chance to redeem. I needed to get off to work in the morning, the game was at 89 mins and it was still a clean sheet so I got onto the tram smiling. Couldn’t wait to get to work and bask in my tri player plus captain clean sheet…. Just then the phone buzzed, I read the text.. ‘I told you only idiots captain a keeper’ quickly checked the scores… they conceded in the 93rd!! No clean sheets from THREE defenders over 2 games…no keeper save points.. NEVER again will I captain a keeper (or a defender)

My mate the mailman has a great never again. He was rotating for the fixtures and Arsenal had a tough away game. He decided to put Arsharvin on the bench…. Arsharvin went on to score 4 goals as mailman watched on through the gaps in his hands.  NEVER again will he put a gun on the bench.

The plagiarist has a funny never again too. We were having a very tight season with money on the line, with a few rounds left it was neck and neck. He has never rated Lampard and out of spite didn’t captain him against Derby, I did… Frank scored 4 goals that game and won me the title off his own boot. NEVER again will the plagiarist let his personal player bias dictate his FPL selections.

Anyone else got any FPL NEVER agains?

9 comments on “Never again!!

  1. tseagrim

    I had Pepe Reina that game Arshavin scored 4 vs Liverpool…. My other keeper recorded a clean sheet and saved a penalty…. but he was on my bench. What did I learn? Don’t start gun keepers when a retard has an easier fixture.

  2. Factor x

    I learnt a few things early last season when I was half interested…. don’t chase big scores!!! (e.g. ward, young, dzeko…)

  3. The Plagiarist

    Lampard Vs Derby. Good onya. Bring that up again!

    Anyway my “never again” is a bit different and is about how FPL affects the way we watch games. One week a few seasons ago my beloved Arsenal were up three nil at home. Cesc Fabregas broke through late on and was one on one with the keeper. I wanted him to miss! Why? because Adzman and The Mailman both had him as Captain and I didn’t. It was an instinctive response that left me deeply ashamed. I decided then that never again would I let Fantasy Football take precedence over Arsenal FC.

  4. The Plagiarist

    Careful Adz. If you want me to hijack this thread with phrases like “glory-hunting twat” and crap on about Russian criminals ruining football and do my usual spiel about the dignity associated with supporting Arsenal as opposed to your morally loathsome bunch, then I will!!!!

    Or we can just discuss FPL

  5. Dominic

    I don’t have one but one of my mates decided that RVP had dried up about 4 games into last season. He did not put him on his team the entire season…

    Lets just say he did not do well.

  6. Liam

    I bought in Shoela Ameobi as I needed someone in that price range with a gun midfielder (think it was fabregas). I then promptly put him on the bench. After lockout I found out reading an article that he has a very good record against Sunderland (before the game).

    Newcastle won 5-0 and Ameobi returned 17-19 points from the bench, it was a ball breaker when I was sitting within the top 5000 places.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: