Stinky, smelly, ordinary, woeful, poopy, disgraceful, unfulfilling, anti-climax, dour, dry, boring. Besides being words that describe Jimbob’s sex life, they can all be attributed to what was, put simply, a woeful week of FPL. Unless you had Fellaini or Van Persie, chances were none of your players scored above 6. So where did it all go wrong?
Man United v Arsenal
Man United cruised against an Arsenal outfit that never really looked like it thought it could score. RVP proved clinical when latching onto a woeful Vermaelen clearance, before Rooney scuffed his penalty. It will be interesting to see who takes the next one, given that there seemed to be no debate that it was Rooney‘s spotkick. Evra then made it 2-0 with his head, before Cazorla pegged one back in the 94th minute, largely due to the fact that I traded him out this week. Arsenal never looked like threatening, and without their wingers becoming more involved in the play, a 4-3-3 formation that they love so much becomes pretty difficult to utilise properly.
Fulham v Everton
Ruiz‘s free kick caused Howard to push it on to his post, then back on to his torso and in the net. Unlucky own goal for the American keeper. Fellaini reminded us why he was so highly rated at the start of the year, with another brace and quite simply a scintillating performance. Unbelievable stuff from the Belgian. Berbatov then miskicked a tap in, which fell at Sidwell‘s feet to equalise in the 90th minute. For Jol and his men it was a point they didn’t quite deserve, while Moyes will be filthy he left with only a point.
Norwich v Stoke
Johnson‘s set piece header set up a 1-0 win for the canaries, who despite my criticism’s have actually gelled quite well the last two weeks, and kept two clean sheets in the process against Arsenal and Stoke. For those who had Shawcross, Cameron or Wilkinson, a 1-0 was a terrible outcome to a game that should have been a clean sheet.
Swansea v Chelsea
Chelsea looked tired, mechanical and disinterested. Perhaps tired from their two sapping encounters against Man United, Mata and Luiz missed through injury and Chelsea never really kicked into top gear. Moses‘s flick from a Cahill corner restored some form of order at 1-0, before Hernandez‘s brilliance levelled it up. Cahill is an interesting proposition from Chelsea. An assist this week adds to his five goals scored this year… If Luiz misses a few more games through injury, he looks set for an extended run down back and poses significant goal threat.
Sunderland v Villa
What a snore fest this game was. Agbonlahor put Villa in front in the second half, and Sunderland rarely looked like challenging. They’ve now scored 6 goals from 9 games, and have only mustered 13 shots on target in the PL this year. That’s bad reading for Black Cats fans OR Fletcher owners. He is a poacher of the highest order, but without given the opportunity to score he very rarely makes something for himself. Monitor him.
Tottenham v Wigan
Wigan, Wigan, Wigan. Normally they leave it until April/May to win two games in a row, but now with 11 points on the board they sit comfortably mid table. Tottenham just do not look the same team without Dembele, and after Sandro‘s injury (who I think is criminally underrated for Spurs), they never looked the same through the midfield. Watson‘s goal which was parried off the line was thankfully called a goal, so we didn’t have to have the “goal line technology” debate AGAIN this week.
West Ham v Man City
When Jaaskelainen plays Man City, rationally, you bench him. So now it takes my tally to 4. My tally of benching Jaaskelainen and then him subsequently making the dream team for that week, that is. Man City looked woeful, and I doubt Mancini would be starting with Tevez, Dzeko and Balotelli all up front again any time soon. Nolan‘s importance to the Hammers was made evident, even though the linesman didn’t think so. West Ham now sit on 15 points, equal with Arsenal. Fair effort for a promoted team who have made a name for themselves for yo-yoing between the Premiership and Championship.
QPR v Reading
What shaped as a spud fixture was just that. After ex Ranger Gorkss put the Royals ahead with a goal line scramble, Cisse equalised in the second half to ensure the game finished at 1-1. The only FPL relevant player I would be looking at is Cisse- the dude was everywhere and isn’t afraid to shoot- although Zamora might steal game time.
Liverpool v Newcastle
Suarez was everywhere. Absolutely everywhere, and as much as I hate him, the dude is world class. His touch is phenomenal. I’m looking at him for a replacement for Torres. For Newcastle, Ben Arfa finally gave us something to smile about with a touch-line dash which cut back to Cabaye for a classy finish. Another 1-1 result pretty much summed up this week, with very little fantasy returns flying around, and almost no clean sheets to smile about.
West Brom v Southampton
Ahhh finally, a clean sheet. Foster, McAuley and Ridgewell owners, will be happy, but for Morrison owners like me, a training niggle kept him out… Great. Southampton never looked like winning this game, and Adkins will be looking over his shoulder quite a lot in the run up to Christmas. Odemwingie chipped in with his twice a year brace that gets people thinking that maybe he still is a good player… watch for the next few weeks when he does absolutely nothing again. Oh yes, and by the way, West Brom are fifth. Glad I put money on them to be relegated….
Loser: Hazard, Rooney, Torres
Trades: Torres > Suarez
Vent: Terrible, terrible week. Why does this game hate me so much?
Cheers guys… Let’s hope for more luck next week.