Although there’s still one more fixture to come on the weekend, it’s time to sit back and reflect on what we learnt this week…
- Gareth Bale became the first white player to complain to FIFA about monkey chants.
- Bale could have scored 7 goals, if they weren’t so Krully tipped over the bar.
- Norwich v Fulham was about as interesting as watching Susan Boyle shave her legs.
- Bachary Sagna made FOURTEEN clearances as CB on the weekend.
- Cattermole is a carbon copy of Rattata. Useless and fucking annoying.
- Carl Jenkinson hasn’t seen two yellows since that Thai massage he got from twins.
- Don’t write a column about ditching Michu if you don’t want him to score. Now I can’t justify dropping him.
- QPR would struggle to beat Accrington Stanley.
- Mancini did his best impression of Steve Kean for the 26th week in a row.
- Southampton were really Puncheon above their weight vs Man City.
- FIFA Chief Sep Blatter today announced his investigation into PL match fixing after Aston Villa took 3 points.
- Giggs has now scored in every Premier League season EVER. 23 years straight now.
- The pope’s resignation was the first in 600 years- Ryan Giggs was just two on the last occasion.
- Giggs has scored 112 goals in 23 years for United, but Lampard has scored 137 in 12 for Chelsea.
- Gerrard had Michu captain.
- Sturridge’s inclusion this DGW has so far been as useful as an ejector seat on a helicopter.
That’s what I learnt- let me know what you noticed this week in the comments!