Firstly, apologies if this comes across a bit bluntly, because that was undoubtedly the worst week of anything to do with fantasy since The Hobbit hit the screens earlier this year. Anyway, here’s what I learnt on this terrible GW32.
- Lionel Messi became the first player to score in 20 European cities with his strike against PSG in Paris last week, leaving John Terry a little disheartened… he’s “scored” in at least 40.
- If you squint, Mark Bunn‘s last name looks like Bum.
- It’s little wonder Sessegnon was Sunderland’s best player v Chelsea- Di Canio has always favoured the right wing…
- Benteke is to Aston Villa as Pippa Middleton’s ass was to the Royal Wedding.
- AVB has just bought his 5th dog this year- it seems he can’t hold a lead.
- Liverpool had the most shots on target of any team this weekend, yet failed to score.
- Matthew Lowton hasn’t caressed a ball that cleanly since he got locked in the church with Father Gilbert.
- John Terry had to help come from behind against Sunderland. Turns out it wasn’t the first time that weekend…
- Cisse loves an injury time winner as much as his village loves clean water.
- Arsenal have managed 15 points from the last 6 games- putting them top of the PL form table.
- The only thing worse than Phil Jones’ facial expressions is having to lick sour cream off Carlos Tevez’s neck.
- Reading haven’t scored a goal under Nigel Adkins.
- QPR stands for Quickly Prioritising Relegation.
- Stoke City scored a goal.
- Ivanovic managed to net for Chelsea- The last time he took a shot was when he was a Croatian running through London.
That’s all I learnt this week- Let me know what you learnt in the comments!