Projected Chelsea XI

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Screen Shot 2014-07-27 at 8.43.39 pmTime we look at the blue side of London now. Chelsea have acted swiftly and breathtakingly successfully this transfer window, wrapping up most of their inclusions a month out from the season start. In Filipe Luis, Cesc Fabregas, Diego Costa and DIDIER DROGBA (!!) they’ve filled literally every hole on their list, and now boast a 2nd XI that could probably make the top 6.

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 9.53.02 am

As a Chelsea fan, it’s hard to write this article because I have to keep stopping and masturbating every time I look at the graphic.


Courtois (6.0) is a definite option SHOULD Petr Cech be confirmed out for the season proper. If not, it’s too risky to start with either.

Filipe Luis is a bright spark, and a more than capable LB. The good news is that he’ll be virtually unchallenged in that spot (unless Azpilicueta is used at LB- which is unlikely) and at 6.0 he’s a safe bet for the Chelsea back line. Terry and Cahill are the preferred CB pairing, but it’s at RB where the most uncertainty lies.

Azpilicueta was unlucky not to win POTY last year, and Mourinho has shown unwavering faith in Ivanovic since he returned to the bridge. Don’t touch either until you know who’s starting.



Seriously Mourinho, this years title race shouldn’t be a competition. Hazard, Willian, Oscar, Schurrle, Salah, Matic, Ramires, Mikel, Fabregas.

Just ridiculous.

For this season, I expect Fab to start in the more advanced side of the double pivot, playing the deep playmaker role that has been previously been occupied by Lampard. Matic will anchor deep, with Mikel rotated in when he needs a rest.

In the attacking trio, I expect given Schurrle’s world cup antics, he’ll be given a while to rest at the start of the year. That leaves Willian to play down the right, with Hazard on the left. Oscar will play through the middle and could be a sneaky unique option for those that don’t want to shell out big bucks for a proven performer.



Lukaku and Torres should be forgotten about, while Drogba is probably a no go at this stage until we see his role. At 36 years old, I doubt it’ll be extensive.

Diego Costa is the bloke you want to be looking at. Mourinho has head hunted him as an option that will fit his style of play, and he will be given first crack at it. The fact he basically didn’t have a world cup is also another bonus!


In Summary:

Locks: Hazard
Consider: Oscar, Costa, Fabregas
Wait & See: Courtois/Cech, Azpilicueta/Ivanovic.
Avoid: Matic


11 comments on “Projected Chelsea XI

  1. Zeus O'Dea (@ZeusODea)

    As a Chelsea fan, it’s hard to write this article because I have to keep stopping and masturbating whenever I seen the graphic…

    ahahahahahaha that’s a bit camp, but gold nonetheless.

    Great article 🙂

  2. fatty

    Azpilicueta at RB and Ivanovic CB for Cahill.
    Costa will flop, and Torres will replace him after 6 games.
    Hazard will cry about having to defend so he’ll sulk until he gets away from the Spastic One – moves to PSG in Jan.
    Schurrle and Willian will play as defensive wings alongside Matic. Matic ensures Chelsea’s bus is parked perfectly and they win every second game 1-0.
    The Spastic One realises the EPL is move competitive than when he was here last time and he’ll get a solid 3rd place. The spastic One will quit in Jan 2016 after one and a half years of failure.

      • fatty

        I’m a football fan, I did like the way Chelsea played a couple of years ago, but not under Mourinho.
        Perhaps my predictions are a bit extreme (and drunk), but I do think Jose will find it harder to win the EPL this time around. I think attack wins over structure more these days.
        Matic is obviously no good for fantasy, but he will possibly be the most dominant player this season – every team needs someone like him: an absolute beast…and he will allow every player in front of him to thrive. I think Schurrle could be good money if he plays regularly.

      • fatty

        Yes, sorry. I shouldn’t write stupid stuff like that.
        And apologies to the author of this blog. I find this blog very interesting and informative, and look forward to the rest of the teams

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