Come on in! Grab a seat. Let’s all read a story of woe, exhilaration, frustration and in the end, well, you’ll find out… A couple of weeks ago I posted an article outlining my attempt at having a red hot crack at this DGW, and the subsequent rounds, by putting up one method of destroying them. Turns out it very nearly destroyed me! It was 6 days of dreading each and every team sheet that was popping up on my twitter feed like work after a long weekend, or the loo after 3am kebab… And here’s how it all went down.
Norwich v Sunderland – Probably didn’t effect anyone with both teams having limited FPL relevancy. Calm before the storm?
Everton v Sunderland – This was about the time a lot of us started to sense something special was happening. Both Lukaku and Barkley were under clouds for most of the week, with both ending up sitting on the pine. In hindsight… It was a shit decision to go too hard at my boys but, whatever. Ross did manage to get on the pitch for half an hour but didn’t nothing. Lukaku stayed on his arse…
Man Utd v Villa – This would’ve hurt plenty as well. Fosu-Mensah and Martial were both popular picks and yep, both started from the bench with the former managing to get on the pitch for 1 measly minute, and the latter 15. Neither did anything. Hats off to those with De Gea or one of their fit defenders.
Newcastle v Swansea – So that’s 3 of my squad so far dropped to their respective benches, let’s add Mitrovic to the list! At least he managed an assist during his huge 11 minutes on the pitch… Oh yeah, I had Janmaat in my WC team but he punched a wall and broke his hand. I nearly managed to beer that little memory away.
West Brom v Watford – Pulis did the right thing by not making too many changes BUT my keeper for most of the season, pre-WC, Gomes ran amok with 19 bloody points!
Chelsea v Man City – Not many would’ve gone early on Chelsea players ahead of their DGW37, but most of us would’ve hoped they’d at least put up a bit of a fight and not let Aguero destroy them to the tune of 17 points. My captain most weeks since Christmas… This is one of main reasons the non-DGW chasers had that smug look on their face.
Bournemouth v Liverpool – I’m not sure why I was surprised by anything at this stage. Klopp basically put out his 2nd XI with only Firmino surviving from most of our teams. Donuts for my Coutinho and Mignolet to make a total of 6 players in my bench boost squad failing to start… At least Firmino scored?! And got 3 BPs! Heady days these.
Leicester v West Ham – This game is probably what saved me from throwing in the towel. West Ham did the righty by at least scoring, thus removing the headache of Huth and Simpson getting cleanie points, and Mahrez did nought either. And then Vardy undoes his goal scoring points by getting sent off for a stupid dive! Phew.
Arsenal v Palace – This helps too… Captain Sanchez starts clawing back the mountain of points perma captain Aguero scored by getting on the scoresheet and picking up a couple of BPs! They also keep the rotation garbage to a minimum with popular defenders Bellerin and Gabriel both starting, as well as Cech. I was nearly getting ahead of myself and starting to believe this could be salvaged! But then Arsenal do what Arsenal do best… Let people down. This time by letting in a Bolasie goal during the last 10 minutes to not only throw away 2 points but also probably 15 points for all of us who doubled up on their defensive players…
Stoke v Spurs – Ha ha ha haaaa ugh… Reality check. My pre-WC team had Kane and Alli. There’s another 28 points to go with Gomes’ 19 to equal 47 points from 3 players I threw away. Plus Aguero’s captain points! Delete team watch was underway and I think I may have cried a little.
Newcastle v Man City – Here we go again. Mitrovic still can’t get a gig with the utterly woefully woeful, cheque stealing, waste of space, over the hill, lazy arse Cisse being preferred up top… Aguero scores again to make it 26 points, or effing 52 perma captain points… I can’t even count high enough to figure out what a triple captain score would be… 1,000? It doesn’t really matter at this stage.
West Ham v Watford – One good thing about Bilic is he doesn’t screw us around with rotation. Payet plays! He manages an assist but that only totals a poor 6 points over the two games which isn’t what we hoped for or needed. Gomes comes back to earth conceding 3.
Liverpool v Everton – The less I write about this game the better… Pros are both Coutinho and Firmino start with the rested up Coutinho getting those of us who have him a goal. Also, those with defensive assets appreciating them even playing at all and then pocketing a cleanie! Cons, Roberto Martinez still has a job in football.
Man Utd v Palace – My sole Palace player who came in for the wall punching Janmaat, scores an own goal… Man Utd make it 2 cleanies for the round. How am I not homeless cradling a $3 cask of red by now?
Arsenal v West Brom – Will this round ever end?!? Yeah the teamsheet comes through and guess what. Gabriel. Bench. BUT WAIT! SAAAAAANCHEZZZZZZZZZZ!!! The little Chilean master saves the day at the absolute 11th hour to salvage what I consider to be a decent bloody score.
Happy. Sure there’s bigger scores around, but I doubt many of them went through as much turmoil as I did to get there!
Moving on… My team is going to be slightly compromised this week due to the Janmaat unpleasantness, and that there were no other options available apart from Fosu-Mensah with the cash I had left… Newcastle are playing Liverpool anyway so getting a donut may actually be a good thing. I’ve brought in Van Aanholt for Delaney. Sunderland look better that they have and I’m hoping for a sneaky goal or two, and he has a DGW…
Kudos to those that have made it to then end! It’s your turn now. How did you fare, what’s your tale of woe? Or exhilaration perhaps?