Welcome back to the most inconsistent captains column on the interwebs. Last week we went in hard with Alonso & Kane… and many, many others went with Lukaku. Then City scored 7 and now we’re all scrambling to fit as many City players in our teams as possible. Then we all make early transfers, because some of you idiots believe price changes matter, then Aguero comes back ready to play and we have no idea who will play and our teams have gone to shit… Or maybe that’s just me. I’m still in the top 500k, just, so I need a big week. It all hinges on the captain conundrum. Seamless link.
Manchester City Players – Burnley (h)
Gabriel Jesus Should be the number 1 pick by a country mile, right? Rule number one of Captain Conundrum club is that your Captain must play. “Chris you dildo, surely they won’t drop him after a 7-2 win”. Pep can, Pep probably will. Pep has shown he has a preference to play the guys with EPL experience in a physical game like this. Add to that, the fact that Aguero is well rested and Jesus has been covering ground for fun, Jesus could actually start on the bench… Yep, unlikely but still, can we trust Pep 100%? Let’s talk about Sterling, Sane, Silva & KDB. The first two are the latest fashion accessories that Fantasy managers are saying are ‘must haves’, essentially Sane is a lip-injection-filler and Sterling is a tribal sleeve tattoo. Both have had their day, and will do a job when called upon, but you can’t realistically think they’ll be flavour of the month every single month. Personally I’d prefer the safer option of a solid plain white shirt (Silva) or a solid pair of jeans (KDB), both safe and functional, and if done right work brilliantly together.
Harold Kane vs Liverpool (home)
This is a huge conflict of interest. On one hand, you have the baboons anus that is Liverpool’s defence, yet on the other hand, Harry Kane will never get a recommendation from me when he plays at home… Ever. There’s more chance of a baboons anus remaining clean, than a large chinned Englishmen scoring at Wembley. Look, I know we’re ALL tempted. Remember last week? Don’t do it.
Alvaro Morata vs Watford (home)
If there is one thing we know from Chelsea, it’s that they come back with a bang after humiliating defeats. Hazard is looking sharper, even though he’s less advanced than we would like. It plays into Morata here against a Watford team who are genuinely exciting to watch. No bus parking here, they’ll play for a result, they’ll be open and there will be goals. Given the uncertainty of many other big guns, if you held Morata, you did so for games like this.
Romelu Lukaku vs Huddersfield (away)
Over the past two weeks, over 150,000 absolute cretins have traded out the big fella’. Thirty Five thousand of which have done so this week. Yep, United are sandwiched in between some shocking games… but it’s Huddersfield away this week! Away games are seeing some huge scores as ‘smaller’ clubs look to open things up at home so Lukaku could easily score 2 or 3 here. Last week he was limited by the tactics, yet still had an absolute sitter that he missed. United will play to win and he’ll get chances. Keep him in for this week alone.
3. Kevin De Bruyne
2. Alvaro Morata
1. Romelu Lukaku
The Point of Difference
I’m all about striking whilst the iron is hot, and the hottest thing at the moment is anyone vs Stoke, who pretty much have the kit man and the receptionist at centre back. They welcome Bournemouth who are improving every week and underlying stats have them in the top 6 for chances created over the past 4 gameweeks. Last years hero Josh King is looking great value as Eddie Howe loses faith in Defoe, and with a lot of big guns with question marks… Let’s remember last year!
Who will you go for this week? Good luck!